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It’s Time To Fall Back In Love With Yourself

apricotberlin

It’s time to take your love back from those who hurt you; from those who never understood how to protect someone who cared as deeply as you did. It’s time to take those pieces, the shards of heart and hope, from the hands of those who do not deserve to hold them any longer. It…

via It’s Time To Fall Back In Love With Yourself — Thought Catalog

motherspreciousgemsI want you to remember the good parts. The parts that felt like they would never end. Those were the parts I’ve always held onto.And I hope you hold onto them too. I hope you remember the first time we kissed. My legs were shaking, and my lips were trembling. But I remember not being scared…

via This Is How I Want You To Remember Me — Thought Catalog

Addiction & Rehab

Can you tell me what’s more beautiful than being addicted to someone who is addicted right back to you? Can you tell me what’s more comforting than a ‘goodnight’ and a ‘goodmorning’  from someone you can’t stop thinking about? Can you tell me what’s more satisfying than loving someone who loves you back?

 

Well, that’s all hearts and roses. But what if that’s not the case? What if you are holding on to someone who doesn’t even want to breathe in your direction? What if the person you long for, longs for someone else? Or, what if the person you loved and who loved you back decides that it can’t work anymore?

 

Attachment is a terrible thing. It is also the most beautiful thing there is. Love is nothing without attachment. They tell you that love hurts, but that’s not true. Love is absolute. Attachment however, isn’t. Love hurts because the person you are so much attached to, the person who’s your raw addiction,  stops reciprocating.

In every relationship or even in friends, there is one person who is more attached to the other. And that sucks, because when they have a change of mind or heart, you’re just stuck. Stuck there, immobile. You don’t know how to deal with it. You don’t know where to pour all the feelings you have inside you because that one person who was supposed to hear you out and listen to you just isn’t available.

 

What do you do? You’re an addict and you can’t find your drug. It’s just gone but you need it so much, it’s killing every part of you. It’s suffocating you, it’s burning you alive. But what can you do? There’s nothing you can do to satisfy that need, nothing except wait. Trust me when I say this, but the first day without them is the hardest. The others aren’t much easier, but a little less horrible than yesterday.

 

You just have to hang in there, you have to make sure you make it through without breaking apart. Even if you do, it’s okay. You can fall right back  and take a fresh start. Because time is like magic. It heals you up, every time. It does. As the time goes on, you’ll feel it doesn’t hurt anymore, you’re used to it and it’s nothing you can’t take. That pain has become a part of you and may be that’s the reason you don’t feel it anymore. You’re numb. You’re blue. It’s there. Even though a lot of time has passed and it’s been a while you’ve cried or missed them but the hell that was broken upon you is still there. In your vacant eyes and fake smiles, in your pale face and in your scarred limbs.

Now what? You’ve gone through the hardest part. Now it’s time to wash away all the sorrows of yesterday and turn a new leaf. Slowly, you’ll find you can smile again. You’ll sleep properly again. Your wrist might still have that cut but you don’t feel like cutting it off. Like a flower bud, you’ll bloom again. But it’s a slow process. You feel alright, but not exactly like before. Please, trust me when I tell you this that one day you will feel like before, even better. Just wait for that day, it’s worth everything.

The unbreakable soul!

Hello

This is my first post. I am here to vent and rant.

“Hello”

“Hey”

“Hi”

Do you ever wonder how many times you use these words every day? They’re routine, right? But for some people, people like me, they’re the hardest part of my ‘routine’.

I googled ‘Introvert’ and it gave me, ‘a shy, reticent person’.

It also gave me the following-

: reserved, withdrawn, introverted, restrained, inhibited, diffident, shy,modest, unassuming, shrinking, distant, undemonstrative, wouldn’t say boo to a goose;

uncommunicative, unforthcoming, unresponsive, tight-lipped, close-mouthed, close-lipped, quiet, taciturn, silent, guarded,secretive, private, playing one’s cards close to one’s chest;

Well, that’s definitely me. I’m an introvert I think excessively. I don’t talk much. I’m bad with small talk and I hate it to death. Books are my paradise, words are my voice. I am a very much private person, i have numerous walls and layers around my heart which seems almost impossible for anyone on this planet to break down. I overthink a lot. I observe everything. I take mental pictures of someone’s smile or the brown of their eyes and how breathtaking they look under sunlight and of the way people look at the people they are in love with and of the moon and of the perfect bokeh produced by the traffic signals and the cars’ headlights when i’m not wearing my glasses.

I feel every person i meet has a history with me, even nothing worth remembering but there is always something I remember about everyone. It’s a trait, i guess. I am fond of keeping memories safe in the microprocessor of my brain. I read people and their actions.

I need my space. I need to be completely comfortable around someone in order to talk to them. I don’t let people in, you see. Only if they try hard enough to break those walls. I can’t help it. And it’s been a while someone has made an effort for me, it’s been a while no one has come along and I am doing perfectly fine all by myself but I am just a little afraid, I don’t want to be concrete. I don’t want to be cold or feeling-less.

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